It’s not a magic, it’s not an illusion, it’s not a myth, the gravitational force is there. Think of rain drops, falling plant leaves, falling fruits from a tree, a falling beer bottle from a table, a gun shot , a parachute etc, has anyone ever asked why, the leaves, the fruits , the bottle and the parachute always come down towards the earth? Sir Isac Newton explained this amusing unseen phenomenon. There is always a force, the gravitational force, which pulls everything on the earth torwards itself. The `mean` force. This force is located at the centre of the earth. Njira Njira
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Njira Njira,
First of all, I liked your text. It's a very interesting subject. Though it's not really something that most people don't know. Next time, I would choose something more innovative.
Your text was fluently written and I didn't find a grammtical or a writing error (though I think, Isaac is written with double a, but that will propably be a typing error). You have used simple words and that is always pleasant to read.
I would have dealt differently with some parts of the text:
- The first sentence is really long and contains two enumerations, while the last but one contains only three words. I would balance it a little bit more,it would be much easier to read.
- I don't know what you mean by the word'mean' in the last but one sentence. Is it a common force or is it just despicable? I would use more unambigous words.
I hope my tips are a little bit constructive, but I liked reading your text.Thank you for writing it.
Pieter-Jan
I agree with Pieter-Jan: nice casual style, but perhaps the enumeration is a bit too much.
Language-wise, the thing to work on is the use of articles: we cannot use 'a' with 'magic', because magic is uncountable.
As for 'mean', I'd keep it. I don't think that the 'despicable' reading is possible here.
good job,
Olaf
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